The Unknown & Navigating End of Year Energy
— BY LAUREN TREND
I don’t know whether its because the year is coming to an end, or the fact that wild energetic currents are at play given we’re closing out a decade thats been made up of such overwhelming polarity - but this week I have felt entirely ungrounded. The full moon in Gemini just been is the last of the year and with that came a wave of massive energy. During this time I have been soothed by the words of Chani Nicholas; “ Saturn teaches us self-mastery, and until we understand what’s going on with us, there’s no way to know how to work through it. Pause, journal, deep breath, meditate. Repeat.”
It’s been a time of returning to the absolute basics. Giving myself gentle reminders to return to things that I had perhaps ticked off as learnt and mastered. I’ve felt really low in my self worth and have had lots to work through. I’ve felt isolated and realised that my ego has been taking the wheel; mustering fear and self doubt which, when I’m manifesting, means that huge things are about to come through. I’m really being asked to stand up for myself in my own mind. And in life in general.
With that I’ve learned that I can and should be showing up in my own life with more alignment, and greater authenticity, in order to hold onto the things that I’m calling in. Being real and honest with myself without being self-deprecating is still work for me. I am proud of myself though for letting the tears fall and lean into all feelings that are arising on the full spectrum of human emotion. This week more than most I have been endlessly grateful for the pages of the SP WORKBOOK. This morning I opened it up to the page where it asks you to “where can you show yourself more honesty” which is, of course what happened. Its pages have a way of knowing when to find you.
I can’t help but compare this time in my life, with this time last year. I think we’re human and completely normal for doing so. Last December was such a huge time of personal and professional growth for me. Most of you will know that I left the comfort of my 9-5 job to pursue Self Practice full time, and this year has been wildly expansive but as it comes to a close, I find myself flailing a little bit — and waiting for the next chapter of expansion.
As a manifesting generator I get bored easily. I need to move quickly.. And I’ve realised I currently feel panicked because intuitively I know that I’m being asked to idle before big manifestations come through.
I’ve craved human contact and have felt so settled by leaning into nightly self-practices with Lucy. She’s literally been rubbing my tummy to calm me down and we’ve been practicing calming breath work before we go to sleep has settled my busy mind at the end of the day.
I wonder if any of you are feeling a heightened sense of self-reflection at this time of year too? I’ll be spending the weekend working through some specific exercises in the Reflection + Intention Setting Workshop, baking bread and heading down the coast with family. Hopefully we can get some time in nature in there - because that’s absolutely what I crave when I feel like this.
However you’re practicing self compassion and practice this weekend, I hope it brings you clarity, space & calm.
Image: Scan of Chillida Catalogue, 1979
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