No (Thanks), Is A Full Sentence
— BY LAUREN TREND
My first words were 'No..Ta!' and twenty something years on they're still two of my favourites...
For many years, I've been a yes-person. Saying 'uh-huh' 100% of the time, with only the best intentions; to learn, to support, to gain experience, to entertain the needs of others, to entertain myself, to avoid feeling on the outer..
But lately, I am learning that saying 'No (thanks)' is my magnetic super power.
You see, 'No' creates space. It creates situational magnetism. *What now?!* Situational Magnetism. aka space for the people, places and things that are aligned with that which you are (actually) wanting/asking for to arrive/arise.
But saying 'No' isn't always easy. In fact, it rarely is..
If you're like me, with an Emotional Human Design Inner Authority - your greatest tool, and probably most challenging work, is learning to sleep-on-it when it comes to your decision making. It can be tempting (second nature) for us to say 'Yes!' in excitement, or 'No' in defence on a whim; so my advice for all my fellow emotional-authority-kinds is as mentioned above; sleep on it. Feel it out. Give yourself the opportunity to respond with intent, rather than just react. You'll be glad you did. (Trust me!)
For those that are a little more rational, and level headed (lucky you!) - your answers may land for you hard and fast. By which you'll be able to confidently and almost immediately retort 'Yes, sounds great!' or 'No, it's not for me..' as soon as the opportunity/s arise.
However you land on your decision, feel confident to have landed there. Yes' can feel certain, they often do. No's, for me, can feel a little more wavy ~~ Especially with the presence of guilt.. Let this act an open reminder, for me, and for you, that No (thanks,) is a choice, your choice, and an entire sentence...
Let's put the guilt and concern for missed-opportunity aside; It's time we get really comfortable turning things down. It's 100% necessary in order to prioritise that which is considerate of, and conducive to, our overall wellbeing; creative, intellectual, physical & emotional.
Since Self Practice launched I have been met with dozens of 'I just don't know how you find the time.. I can barely scratch my back' comments, when talking to the notion of self-care. I get that, we're all remarkably busy beings, but we all have 24 hours in a day, we're all given the same amount of time. I don't have children, so I do have the luxury of running on my own schedule, but I do value self-care more than anything else. Not only that, I see the direct correlation between prioritising my self-care to the success/fulfilment I find in my professional, creative and emotional relationships. So now, seeing and feeling the positive trickle, it's easy (and oh so important for me) to find the time.
We give our time to that which we value. For me, that is my creative consultancy work for Criteria, my editing and creating of SP, and rituals/routines in the hours around both ventures that support my work and practice. This involves saying No, (thanks) to ALOT. To social occasions, to living with others, to attending birthdays, to excessive amounts of alcohol, to late nights, to additional freelance work, to other creative pursuits, etc. All things I'd love to frequently say Yes! to. Alignment isn't always easy - but it is worth it.
The feeling that makes it worth it, ~aligned~, for me, is spaciousness. Feeling like you have room to be and breath and grow. Saying No creates this.
Exercising No's should be your favourite pastime. You are not ungrateful, un-oportunistic, resentful or reclusive. It takes courage to stand in your decisions. I hope No (thanks) starts feeling as good for you as it does me.
17 - 06 - 18